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i frustrate myself

April 29, 2010

16:18 by AmensPicturaI am getting really short-fused with myself over my laziness.

I know my calling, to be a teacher of the Word (Ephesians 4:11), but I find it so easy to procrastinate, to allow non essentials to crowd my mind and actions till I sit again at midnight, head in hands, pained over the lost time.

Please don’t think this frustration is born out of a sense of duty, rather it is my desire to study and write, I enjoy getting lost in truths and mysteries of the Bible and its surrounding litertature.

All I can do is repeat my prayer “Lord, please help me with this.” and to myself “Grow up mister, make a decision and stand by it.”.

Having the ability to make a choice means taking responbility for the choices you make… this might sound obvious but too many people avoid standing by the consequences of their choices.

I believe one of the greatest disservices  done in life is to lie to oneself, and then choosing to believe that lie. When we can face the truth of who we are then there is very little in life we can’t face in total honesty, and then learn from.

For me it means living with the frustration I feel until I get tired enough of it to make a new decision.

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